Do I dare disturb the universe?
it’s so ferrrkin nice out and i’m cleaning the whole apartment -___-
i also need to pack…i’m sort of in denial that i’m leaving soon. there’s so much i want to do before i need to go home for the summer and i keep going back and forth between thinking i have enough time to do most of it and i don’t have any time at all.
i shouldn’t be stressed about this???? lol @ me.
i’m having this feeling where i want to write everything down but don’t know where to start.
a lot of life happenings, big and small, detailed and insignificant, but i can’t start a stream of consciousness or whatever.
it’s very frustrating GAH
I had a strange moment of clarity this morning. I feel weird calling it that because by now it’s hard to explain exactly what happened or how i felt about what in particular. anywayz, it was about 11 or 11:30 in the morning and I was walking through central square. It was ridiculously sunny and beautiful outside, and it was warm in such a way that my jacket was keeping me kind of nice and toasty but there was also a breeze that kept my bare legs cool. pretty perfect weather. I had just pulled an all nighter for literally no good reason except the fact that i was having a huge verbal sharing fest/heart to heart with a new friend and we ended up staying up until 10 in the morning. I took about a half hour, maybe hour nap, and then left because i needed to get home. I had been in a haze for the past few hours but when i got outside all of that disappeared. I put sublime on shuffle on my ipod, and as i walked down the street to 40oz of freedom, it seemed like everything was suddenly extra-crisp and out of a cleared haze. I felt a bit of a weight lifted off of my shoulders and had a moment of realizing that things don’t always matter as much as they seem to matter in the moment. I don’t know if it was the lack of sleep or whatever or the music or the past 9 hours of conversation…but either way it felt refreshing.
FINALLY TRYING MOXIE FUCK YEAH
it’s pretty go0o0d, too.
ignore the eyes about to pop out of my skull face. all nighter kind of night, ya dig.
how the fuck did i let this happen?? i used to be the champion of all-nighters, and now i wasted all of this time and didn’t even finish this stupid extra credit paper AND am still dead tired? What the actual fuck
“The more specific you are about your own narrative, the more universal you become.”
Tonight, in the middle of studying, i decided to spontaneously go see Jon Sands perform for free at my school. And it was definitely the best decision I made all weekend. The event started at 7 and I remembered about it at 6:50 and promptly decided to take an elongated study break. There were a bunch of awesome student performers and then Jon Sands himself was phenomenal. I’m ridiculously emotional right now, and could totally go cry in a corner for 20 solid minutes. In both a good and bad way. Things like this always strike me in a weird happy/content/free/melancholy/depressed way. It’s confusing but normal, i think.
Anyways it was awesome and it made me want to write more (like I always do after these things). And if my STUPID IPOD WERENT IN RECOVERY MODE, I would totally take a nice long music walk. Maybe i’ll do it anyways.
hahahhahah so i’m pretty sure this is the week where i find out that anyone that’s been interested in me in the past few weeks has a significant other or something of the sort.
excuse me while i laugh @ my life.
4:07 AM ALONE CRAMMING IN THE STUDY LOUNGE ~
i don’t even live here anymore but i can’t be productive at home (plus i’m locked out). Reminds me of freshman year except THAT WAS WHEN I COULD ACTUALLY SUCCESSFULLY PULL ALLNIGTHERS whereas now my body is giving up and none of this info is sticking in my brain aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh